Adopting

We have decided to follow through with an adoption of a child. We have no idea where our child will come from, what circumstances she will come from, how old she will be, what race or what she looks like, we already love her. I refer to "she" because that is what we have asked for, however, we know God always has plans of His own. We are remaining faithful to his counsel and pray we are given a child to give a forever home to. How did we get here?

It is no big secret to anyone who knows us of our desire to expand our family and have a baby of our own. From the beginning we knew that adoption was always an option. We have wrestled with the idea for over a year now. After about 6 months of fertility treatments, drug and crazy sweeping hormones, I decided it just wasn't worth it to have a "biological" child. I had to give up the notion of ever being able to give birth or have that experience. I got lots of advise on how to get pregnant. My favorite was, "Just Relax!" Okay...that didn't work. Besides, I know I live in this perpetual state of stress. Even when I don't think I'm stressed, I am. It is how I function day to day. Controlled chaos is what some people call it. I thrive in it and it seems to suit me well. Other words of wisdom were: "Just go out and tie one on. That's what we did and low and behold we got pregnant." I found this one not to my liking. I'm not a drinker anyways. I love Key Lime Martini's and all, but getting drunk to get pregnant seems obsurde! I never can understand how some people get pregnant just thinking about it while others struggle with the want to be pregnant and for whatever reason just can't conceive. Seems so unfair!

I still have my days where it really hurts. I look at my handsome husband and picture the little girl I so long to give him. She would have dark hair and skin with maybe hazel eyes like mine. She will love music and sports at the same time. This is normal right? Everyone who wants a child dreams about these things, don't they? In any case, I just recently found out that a family member is expecting a baby. As excited as I am for them, I fight back the tears for Jorge and I. Jorge is so sweet and just holds me trying to be so supportive. I thought I had really let this go, but the news came and I just couldn't hold it back. I think I'll always feel this was to some degree.

Our decsion to adopt wasn't an easy one. Where do we start? Who do we contact? Do we want and open adotion, semi-open or closed? What does all of that mean? We first contacted Bethany Christian Services. They are an adoption agency that specializes in Christian families wanting to adopt. They pair birth parents with families wanting to adopt and the birth mother chooses the new parents for her child. We found out that they are an open adoption only. We are not totally opposed of this idea, but we still weren't sure. Recently we met with a couple from our church who have adopted through DSS, Department of Social Services. They were first Foster Parents, which we considered. After lots of discussion we realized we could not have a baby placed in our arms only to have to return it to someone else. I just don't think my heart could bear it. Through Frank and Laverne, we realized going through DSS would be an option we were interested in. There are over 600 children in the state of SC waiting for a forever family. We attended an informational meeting and have lots of paperwork to complete before October 18th. That is the last day of a two day training class for foster or adopting parents. We were very clear that we wanted to go through a straight adoption and forgo fostering. While we may foster later, it is clear to both of us that we'd like to adopt initially. We may even be open to adopt sibilings. At this point we are going through the steps required and the training classes. The rest is up to God. We are leaving it in His hands.

We have so many questions and hope they will be answered as we go along. Last weekend we had a little bit of fun shopping for the nursery we will prepare. We found a crib and stroller/car seat combo that we just love. Of course we immediately came home to search EBAY for bargains! Much cheaper on Ebay. I'm such an Ebay junkie!

So...here we go. We're on our way to adopting what we hope will be a forever child for this forever family.

Church Home

After looking for almost a year, Jorge and I have found a new church at Anderson Mill Rd. Baptist Church! (Gasp!) Yes...you have read that correctly, Baptist Church. I never would have thought we'd end up at a baptist church, but there is one like every five seconds from each other here in South Carolina. The most important thing is that they have a set of core beliefs that match ours, we are spiritually fed and have a servants heart. We have found all of that at Anderson Mill. They are just a few minutes up the road from where we live. They have lots of youth that attend and some even with Chris at school. Chris has shown an interest to participate and attend church. That lit a fire under Jorge and I to make sure to pray about where God wants us to be.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day mundain things. Making dinner, going to work, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, the list is endless. It is a real committment and work to find a new church. We visited so many. The last church we attended was a very large, popular church in downtown Spartanburg. They have a televised service and you could tell! The preacher would yell and shout and then smile at the camera and say, "Jesus loves you!" While all of that is true, the word cheesy comes to mind. It was a production and it felt very cold. We immediately knew this was not home for us. Our search went on. We even would go to two different churches on the same Sunday. But finally, we found a church that we felt we could serve, worship and connect with. This past Sunday Jorge led us to the altar to transfer our membership. I was so proud of him. He's really taking on the Spiritual Leader role in our home. I see a sparkle in his eye that I haven't seen in a long time.

The pastor came to our home this past Tuesday and met with us. We felt so at ease and really enjoyed getting to know more about him and AMRBC. (Anderson Mill Rd. Baptist Church) He's a young preacher with a great preaching style. Straight from the bible, word for word, chapter by chapter, book by book. Jorge of course loves this. I am learning a lot but will always love a good sermon series.

Yesterday Jorge served as a prayer warrior and prayed for over an hour with other church members for various prayer requests. I of course headed for choir. It's a big choir. A little disorganized, but they have a new worship leader that will hopefully take then to the next level. Lots of talent in this group. I'm looking forward to being a part of it.

Please keep us in your prayers as we become a part of a local church and lead our family to Christ.

Dogs...

Having three dogs in a new house is posing a challenge at the Valentin household. Jorge is intent on keeping everything as shiny new as possible. I'm a little more laid back in my feelings about it. What stresses him out seems like a non issue to me, which only stresses him out more! Having three dogs means feeding times must be coordinated, walks taken to ensure all animals have gone #2 and listening to the dogs ques of when they need to go #1 or #2.

In our first few days of being in our new home, Jorge has insisted the dogs stay in the garage when we are not home. My major concern was that it would be too hot. In trying to find a common ground for my husband and the dogs we begin the process of trying to engineer a way for them to stay cool and healthy while keeping them in the garage. We really wish we would have had the forethought to install a window in our garage. Then a window unit could have been added and made it very easy for us all! None the less...we were not thinking ahead. A fan is in the garage and it keeps it surprisingly cool.

It didn't take long for us to get distracted while working outside and Jewel did what she does best...she took off. Just as I realized I hadn't seen her around, my cell phone rings. It is a sweet young girl named Lauren calling to say, "Yes Ma'am..I think I have your dog." Jewel had cut through a couple of yards to the next street over. We rode over in our truck and put Jewel in the back. I guess she just wanted a ride. In any case, we set up the wireless fencing right then and there. Now we don't worry about leaving her outside. She won't cross that electrical line!

It's like having three toddlers in the house! While they drive us crazy...we love them so much and wouldn't give them up for anything. As we had our first overnight vistors last night, Ellie hopped up in a chair with me and layed in my lap. She just wanted some lovin'. This morning Gracie knew there was company upstairs and had to go investigate. She greeted our guests with a wag of her tail and led them downstairs to a fresh pot of coffee! What a hostess!