I'm Clear! We're one Step Closer!

Not that it wouldn't come back clean, but I got a phone call from DSS letting me know they FINALLY got the background check back from KY and it was all clear! DUH! I could have told them that. But I guess somehow my word just wasn't good enough. That's okay...they are giving me a baby so I guess I can't be too picky! That call made my day! We're one step closer to being parents.

I was feeling so low yesterday about it all. I mean, I see friends, relatives and general public taking care of their kids, laughing with them, posting pics on facebook and I wonder "Why not me Lord?" Why can't I share in this kind of joy? Am I not supposed to have a family and little ones calling me mom? Did I do something to warrant not being able to have kids? I just don't understand. It's not that I'm mad at God or love him any less...I just don't understand! We never know what God has planned only that he has one. I've always said there is no way God would give me this much love in my heart for a child and then not give me one! He wouldn't let me heart ache for something he will never provide. I don't worry about whether or not he will provide because I know he will. It just feels like each day I get older and think when will it happen? Everyone says in God's time. I know that, but it just doesn't comfort me very much. I pray about it and so does Jorge.

Now we are just waiting to be matched with a baby who needs a forever family! We can't wait! Our official letter came to the house on the 26th! Please pray for the child who will come our way. Since we are going through DSS most all of the children have been abused or deglected. I pray for this child each day!

Background Check

So I called on Friday to see where we were with the return of my background check only for DSS to say...they too are waiting on Kentucky to answer the background check. So...more waiting. At least when I called, they remembered who I was and that this was the only thing they were waiting on. That sounded promising! At least we're not some unknown name at the bottom of a stack of files. The supervisor remembered my name and that we were waiting on the background check. A huge sigh of relief came over me. A friend told me that once the baby is put in my arms, all the frustration and stress of waiting will go away...can't wait for that day!