Christmas Eve, Eve!

Today I am at working wishing I was at home. The morning sickness has gotten worse to where I have missed church and been late to work. On top of that, I've had a cold, allergies or something for the past week. YUCK! Okay...that's all the complaining I'll do about being pregnant. I'm so excited to be pregnant and can't believe this time next year I'll have babies! TWO Babies! So far so good and they are growing and doing beautifully. I will go to the doc every two weeks. Just a ploy to get my co-pay every two weeks! They will $35 me to death!

I got a call last night that Jorge's nephews are coming to town for Christmas. They will be here tomorrow and want to spend time with Jose before he leaves on Monday for the Army. Wish I had more notice. But I'm so excited they will be here to visit with him. Jose has no idea and will be completely surprised. They are taking a bus from NYC to Spartanburg. Their journey will take them basically FOREVER by bus. Should be here around 2 on Christmas Eve. Even typing about Jose leaving next week is making me tear up. I sure will miss him.

Parents are on thier way to visit for Christmas and I will cherish this one even more than usual. I have just found out that my step-dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. This runs in the males in his family and we figured it was a matter of time before it hit him. I'm so devistated and have cried all morning over it. I haven't even said anything to him yet about it but want them to move to SC so badly. At least here I can help take care of them and Jorge can help them out too. It's just so hard to do when we're 6 hours away. I pray dad has some sense and sees how much easier it would be if they were here. In any case, I can only pray about it.

Busy week but looking forward to the break from work. I love spending time with family. Now if I can just relax and not get too stressed out with all these people in my house. :0)

And so it begins!

The first month of pregnancy has been very typical from what I've read. Going to the bathroom ALL THE TIME...sore boobies and of course I'm so tired. My darling husband would say that part is par for the course for me and it would be true, but I hit this wall around 3:30 - 4pm and just can't seem to get a second wind. We are going to start walking when I get home from work to see if the fresh air and exercise help out. Let's hope he's right!

This past weekend I enjoyed the holidays at home. Thursday was Thanksgiving and boy did we have a lot to be thankful for. The boys headed to their mom's house to eat and stuffed themselves silly. Jorge and I planned on eating later in the day and had guests to the house to share our meal. Jose and Krystal came over late in the day and ate with us. Chris had his fill of Pumpkin Pie and slept the rest of the day. Friday Chris called anxious to know when we were going to go and get a Christmas tree. We have started the tradition of cutting down our own tree each year and this year Chris cut it down all by himself. We found the perfect Frazier Fir, in North Carolina. That's right. Drove to another state to get the darn thing. It was beautiful and almost seemed a shame to cut it down, but it looks even better in my living room. After that Chris slept the whole way home. No radio, no noise, just us driving home. That evening we put on all the lights and ornaments looking amazed at what we've collected over the years.

Saturday came as I hurried to finish decorating the house. I went a little crazy with the decorations this year since we are having two parties on the next two Saturday's. This week is Jose's party as he leaves for the military and next Saturday is our party for the Sunday School class. So I wanted the house to look extra special this year. Besides, next year may be a little bit more difficult with a 5 month old at home. I love the way everything looked after I was finished. Jorge was a big help by staying out of the way. He was intrigued by the new Garmin he just purchased the night before. Not sure why we needed it, an Atlas has always worked fine before, but what the heck!

As Sunday rolled around I was deeply aware that my long weekend was coming to a close. After church we went home and then shopped for food for Jose's party. Then we hit the couch for a long winter's nap. An hour & a half to be exact. Somehow I never made it off the couch. Jorge and Chris went out to get Chinese food which just hit the spot. My poor husband and kids will find the pregnant lady doesn't have much energy to cook lately. I told Chris he will like me being pregnant because he will get to eat out more. I have no idea how I'll find the energy for this baby! But I know God will provide.

My poor sweet husband is putting up with hormones, snapish comments from me and my daily blackouts at around 9pm. I hope this phase doesn't last long. I miss being snuggly with him and lovey. He certainly deserves more than I can give right now.

There is this insane feeling of being completely and totally blessed. With my family, my husband and this amazing baby he has given us. Our first ultrasound is Friday and I can't wait. Hopefully we'll be able to find out if we are having twins or not. It doesn't matter to me, but I just want the baby to be healthy. Whenever I used to ask women what they wanted, boy or girl, and they said "It doesn't matter, just a healthy baby." I would laugh. I mean c'mon, ya have a preference of boy or girl. But now I know what they mean. Healthy is best, no matter what, but a girl would be nice. ;0)

Praying through it.

This past weekend Jorge and I spent time in Charlotte with two free nights at the Westin. We had a great time and just loved getting away. With a baby on the way we will cherish the moments we get to go off by ourselves. We still just can't believe we are expecting our first baby! Wow what a long road this has been. So today we are praying through our next decision.

Before we got pregnant we received a call about two children we have been matched with for adoption. Both are African American, boy 5 and girl 2.5. So now what do we do. We've always said we wanted to adopt, baby or no baby. We are scheduled to meet with them on Tuesday 11/24/09 at 12:00. We are still planning to meet with DSS and find out all of the info about these two, but part of me is being insanely selfish right now. I want to take this time and cherish my first pregnancy and first newborn child. Since I've never been pregnant before, I look forward to all the first's. And I may be having more than one. So again...what do I do? I know Jorge and I would love a house full of children, but I want to give the very best I can to the adoptive children. They are going to need a ton of our time and energy. During a pregnancy I just can't imagine doing all of that. Not with my first. Is that selfish? I have never wanted adoption to be the back door to fertility issues. I also NEVER saw myself getting pregnant. When we went for IUI we were hopeful but I can say I didn't think it would work so quickly. Imagine my amazement when the IUI worked at the first try. Now we are expecting a bundle of joy in July 2010.

Jorge and I can only pray about it tonight and over the week. I'm sure they won't want us to immediately give an answer about what we'll be doing on the adoption same day. Please pray for our family for guidance.

I can say that Chris is a little out of sorts with all of this. Lots of changes happening in our family right now. Jose is leaving for the Army 12/29/09. This is a big deal as he is someone who Chris looks up to. Now we're adding a baby to the mix and he has said on more than one occassion how he likes being the baby. I mean seriously...he's 16 and will always be Jorge & Kathi's baby. That fact will never change. He's also very concerned about the baby crying and so on. I'm sure he'll adjust. So this makes me wonder about adopting and how he'll feel about that as well. Lots more things to consider.

Please keep us in your prayers!

I'm Pregnant!!!

After much prayer, several fertility drugs and most of all The Lord's help, we are finally going to have a baby! I still can't believe it. This morning I'm going to the doctor to take a blood test for a 100% sure "Yes, you're pregnant!" from the docs. I was too impatient last night after Jorge brought home the Clear Blue Easy pregnancy test and went ahead and tested even though I was told to not test until today to make sure the Ovidrel drug, the one that releases all your eggs, was out of my system. So I took another one at 4am. Jorge was too excited. We immediately fell to our knees and praised God for answering our prayers and the prayers of family & friends. Doctor confirmed it this afternoon with a bloodtest.

I think I'm still in shock. I'm not sure what to feel. Joy, elation, praise to God.

I won't be posting this right away since we are trying to keep it all under wraps until we are a little further along and can tell our families in person over the holidays.

Grateful for....

1. My husband for helping me out this morning. Thanks baby!
2. Chris showing an interest in our church youth program. God is working!
3. Love of my church family! They are so wonderful to us.

Grateful for...

I'm such a blogging slacker!

1. I have a job I go to everyday and can help provide for my family! (Even if I feel burned out at times!)

2. The promise of tomorrow.

3. Finding a pen in my desk that works!

Grateful Things!

Saw this posted on someone else's blog so I thought I'd join in. Looks like a good idea! Simply list three things you are grateful for each day during the month of November.

Okay so I've missed a day or two. Been to busy with IUI and trying to get pregnant to do it. So here is goes.

Novebmer 3, 2009

1. I am grateful for a husband who loves the Lord!
2. That my mom is at my house today making me curtains for my kitchen!
3. The beautiful sunny weather we are enjoying! I love the fall.

Adoption Fair

We are attending an adoption fair on November 14, 2009 with DSS in hopes of being matched with a child who is waiting for a forever family. We just got a notice in the mail this week and were so excited to sign up. On that Saturday we will go to the DSS office and meet with case workers who have open adoption cases of children who have not been matched with an adoptive family for whatever reason. We can pour over photos and talk with case workers about specific children who we may fit the profile for. I know if we are open I'm sure we'd be perfect parents for a special child somewhere. It's a little scary to think we could actually find a child that will be ours forever. I mean I'm not really scared, nervous would be a better description. Our life will certainly change! I mean when your pregnant you have time to prepare and with adoption, I won't get 9 months that's for sure! I know I've said this before, but WOW! It's been a year since we've done our adoption classes and almost a year since our homestudy has been completed and we've not received the first phone call about a child. We have also sent our file to the Spartanburg DSS office to be foster parents, with no calls. So...not sure what to think about this process right now.

On top of that we are still trying to get pregnant. I will go for IUI this month as soon as I'm ovulating. I've done all the right things, tracked my BBT, taken the crazy drugs and am waiting for the shot I will soon get to release all my eggs that I should be making. Trying to keep it as stress free as I can but there are days when I think am I crazy? Have I passed the point of having an infant in my life? I mean I LOVE to sleep late, go to bed early, watch a movie on the couch with my hubby and take off on a trip if we want. A baby will change all of that.

But there's also those moments, which are more than all the selfish ones, where I feel so empty. Like I'm missing out on a huge part of my life I should be experiencing. Perfect example...two Sunday's ago we were in church for our Sunday night body building class. We sit next to Frank & Laverne who were foster parents and adopted a little boy the had since he was 4 days old. Little J, now 5 is adorable and the light in their eyes and they are older than us. As the class was wrapping up talking about raising Christian families, all the kids came in to the sanctuary and there was a time dedicated for prayer for parents and their kids. Little J came to sit with his mom and dad and just before I bowed my head to pray with Jorge I looked around the room. It was filled with families with children and they were praying together. It was heart wrenching! I couldn't hold back the tears. I bawled like a baby and Laverne came over to pray with me and held me as I cried! Just typing it brings back the feelings all over again. She prayed I would know the feeling of little arms around my neck and that God would provide us a child. Just then I felt Little J's touch as he placed his little hand on mine and asked his mommy why this Lady was crying. Laverne told him I wanted a baby just like when God brough J to them. Then J did the sweetest thing. He prayed for me. He asked God to bring this nice Lady a baby so that I wouldn't cry anymore. Amazing! To hear a child pray must be one of the most beautiful sounds to the Lord's ear. I had never felt so blessed in all my days. I don't think I'll ever forget that and I know I will always ask my child to pray. I guess I should take my own advice and pray a lot more than I do now. I think I'll take my own advice right now!

Worry....

From Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Ain't that the truth! I always feel so anxious! I read that verse last night and realized I have to stop worrying! I worry about Chris wanting to stay home from school, not getting his work done. I worry he is too lazy and doesn't do the things he should. I worry about getting pregnant and letting my husband down. I worry abot Jose being sick. I worry about if Jorge will ever know how much I truely love him. I worry about being a foster parent. I worry about if I'll make a good mom. I worry about how I will ever be able to get up in the morning when a baby is crying or even get ourselves ready to tackle the day. I can't believe how much I worry about things, and then I worry about that! I worry about things out of my control. It's killing me and making me CRAZY! And I'm not even on fertility drugs yet this month!

Lord...I'm trying NOT to worry so can you please take it all away for me? I know you can do it! Thanks!

We're going forward with Foster Care

Okay so don't cringe when we say we're going to do Foster Care. It was a decision we both made and prayed over. Friends are asking us if we are ready to take the emotional risk involved and the answer is....I don't know! With taking on a task such as this there is always risk. The thing I constantly think about is the kids. They didn't sign up for any of this. The hurt they feel from parents who can't care for them or the abuse & neglect they may have suffered. All I know is God commands us to love one another. That's exactly what we have plenty of...Love. We are ALL God's children and adopted into HIS family. So why would we not want to help? Because we might get hurt in the process? Kinda selfish don't ya think?

Now...I am nervous as can be. I have NO idea what to expect, when we'll get a call or if we'll be able to adopt any of the children placed with us. This is where I am relying totally on God and having faith his plan will prevail...even if it is not what I want. I have a ton of questions for the case worker when they call us. Maybe I'll feel better once we've had a chance to talk to the case worker. Our file should be sent to the Spartanburg office this week according to our adoption case worker. (They are two different people.) We are on two lists now...one for foster care and one for foster/adopt. What's the difference you ask....

Foster Care is usually temporary and the whole idea is to reunify the parents with the child. That said there is a high risk we will only have a child for a short period of time. If the parent's can't get back on track then their parental rights may be terminated (TPR). If that's the case, we may have the opportunity to adopt that child.

Foster/Adopt is for kids who are going through TPR and the case worker is looking for an adoptive "forever family" for them. These kids are usually older and may have already been in foster care and have less risk involved. Often times the foster parents may choose to adopt them. So we feel it is in our best interest to do foster care in the hopes of a possible adoption down the road. This is a very slow process and it may be years before we ever get a call. Crazy I know.

I have no idea what plans the Lord has for us, but I choose to trust Him.

I have to admit I'm feeling a little anxious about the whole thing. Foster babies can come in the middle of the night, without warning and with nothing on their backs. So I'm trying to accumulate little things at a time like, bottles, wipes, diaper rash cream, etc instead of trying to buy all of that at one time. Can you imagine what that would cost? Whoa! Think about it...who gets a baby shower because they are fostering? Not that I expect that! We have sweet friends who have given us lots of clothes and goodies and we are so grateful! Pregnant mom's get 9mos to prepare. While I feel like we are way ahead of the game, I'm still nervous.

Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this journey to foster a child in need. Specifically pray for the children that come into our lives. They need your prayers most of all.

Good News didn't feel so good!

Well I had my surgery last week. For never having surgery, other than my tonsils taken out at 4 and wisdom teeth at 18, I thought I would be more nervous. Piece of cake. Besides, I don't remember a thing other than the aweful stuff I had to drink the night before! That stuff should be illegal. Anyway...I woke up from surgery to my sweet husband waiting for me. I asked him what the doctor said and Jorge tells me,"You're perfectly healthy! No endometriosis, no scarring, nothing! Isn't that great?" My reply..."What?" followed by a flood of tears. While the news was good, it didn't explain why we haven't got pregnant. Now my mind is racing as to the next step. Where do I go from here. Should Jorge be tested again? I mean I had totally convinced myself something was wrong with me. This had to be the answer. NOT! With a textbook procedure and nothing wrong, I should be happy, right?

Jorge took me home, put me in bed and I slept. He waited on me hand and foot. Friends from church made us dinner that night to help out. What a sweet groups of folks we have from our Sunday school at AMRBC. They loved the potato soup so much I had to beg them to leave me at least a bowl. I guess the kids took pity on me and left me some becuase it was delicious. As I began to heal I began to fall apart emotionally. I snapped at my husband and mom and just felt so cheated! A sweet friend gave me a prayer to say, "Lord I don't know what you have in store for me, but I choose to trust you!" I must say this a thousand times a day. Everytime I think about a baby, adoption, foster care or IVF, I say this to God and lean on Him. But it's hard. We want to control everything in our lives and this is no different. My friend also said to look for God speaking to me through others around me. Low and behold Sunday came, my birthday, and the sermon was how God takes us to desolate places so we MUST lean on him and no other for only He can satisfy us. How true and how much I needed to hear this message to ease my soul and really TRUST God. My hunger and thirst for him is greather than it's ever been. I am drawing closer to my heavenly father who will satisfy my every need, even if that means I never have a child. I realize that may not be God's plan for me. As hard as that is to swallow, it's the truth.

So now I'm back to work, distracted with the daily things of life and at least feel like I'm finding peace through prayers and the word of God. He is so good!

Surgery Next Week

Okay I'm having a Laporoscopy next week to check for Endomitriosis. I probably have it, but not sure until my doc gets in there to poke around. She is also doing two other proceedures while she's there. Like a buy one get one free thing! I told the doc yesterday I was actually excited to be having the surgery. That threw her for a loop. I'm not really excited about having surgery, outpaitient or not, but excited to hopefully find an answer as to why we haven't been able to get pregnant. As I turn 39 this year it seems like that biological clock is more like a gong going off in my head! This proceedure may not tell us anything at all. I may not have endo, but there is a strong chance. Even if I have it AND they can clear it out there is no guarantee I'll get pregnant. At this moment I am just praying. Praying for understanding in why this is God's plan for me. Why it's so difficult for some to have a baby and so easy for others. So for those of you who pray...add me to your list. Surgery is Tuesday September 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm. I'll be home the remainder of the week and can go back to work on Monday. I feel a closet clean out coming on.

Jose is leaving December 29th for basic training in Ft. Lenoard Wood in Missorri. I can't believe he's going. So I am planning a fabulous party for him in December. Nothing too outrageous but special. I am also working on a special gift for him.

Everyone is doing great and we are planning a trip to NYC in October. Next week while I'm laying around "recooperating" I plan on researching every cheesy toursity thing there is to do in NY. I know we won't have time to do EVERYTHING, but I want to hit the highlights like the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Empire State Building, Tiffany's (hello!) and Rockerfella Plaza. We haven't been up there for two years so it's time to go. If I don't get to do any of these things, it will be great just to spend time with family. I miss all my NY Rican's!

Well....I have a lot to do before I am off next week and I better get to it. Love to all.

Left, Left, Left Right Left!

Jose is joining the ARMY! That's right! I haven't spoke with Jose today, but he and Jorge were to go and visit the recruiters office. Not really sure why the Army over any other branch, but he is old enough to make his own choices so off he goes. At first Jorge was furious! He really wanted Jose to finish school first maybe with the ROTC program and go in as an officer. But Jose is sick of school and is not going back. So at least he's made a choice to do something! He's not really looked for a job all summer and is bored out of his mind right now. I'm anxious to hear all about it when I get home.

He's been doing lots of PT to get buffed and ready for basic training! I'm really proud of him for taking it so seriously. He's ready and confident in his decision and I'm so proud of him for it. I'll update when I know more.

I would die for that!

I found this video on an adoption website and the song just made me cry! For those of you who are able to have children of your own...don't ever take it for granted because, I would die for that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

20 Year High School Reunion! The REAL OC!!!

So I went to my 20 year High School Reunion! That's right, it's been 20 years! I can't believe it. So Jorge and I along with the kids all set out for Kentucky. We took Gracie along for fun. I wasn't sure what to expect after not seeing everyone for so long. Well, not all together true. With the popularity of Facebook I had already reconnected with so many of my friends. Anyways...our trip was good.

The boys fought all the way up about how they couldn't stretch out in the back seat of the Escape! Poor babies! Get over it already. We all got a little hungry and stopped in Frankfort for the boys first visit to a White Castle. They were so funny. Not only did they get their first White Castle, they got their first taste of BIG RED! This was my favorite drink in High School. I used to get a can every morning. Jose really liked it. It is a bubble gum sort of flavored red drink that I can only find in KY although I'm sure it is available other places. I even took a pick of them in front of White Castle.

We made it to mom's in enough time to crash. The next morning I had planned for us to go to King's Island. This is a large amusement park with incredible rides. I thought the boys would really go for it and be excited. In a matter of 30 minutes the plans were bust. Jorge didn't really want to go and the boys were indifferent. I guess it was just me that was all gung ho about going. So we instead went shopping and spent a lot more money than if we had just gone to King's Island. Chris got new tennis shoes because his old ones looked like he been cleaning out a horse stall loaded with manuer! Jose ended up with new shirts and a suit of all things! Had it not been a great price, he'd not gotten that! Chris also wanted "skinny jeans"! Never did I think I'd hear that term used for pants for a 16 year old boy. In any case, we had a good time and they got to shop in Louisville which I forget is great!

On Saturday it was time for the reunion at Churchill Downs. I had bought a dress the day before and was so excited to find something that fit so well. A little black dress is always perfect. So we made it to Churchill Downs and I was so happy we were in the Sky Terrace. The track has changed so much and for the better I must say. Everything was completely remodeled from top to bottom. When we got to the Sky Terrace and stepped off, I immediatley spotted old friends! Tara Wadell-Redel was my best friend in High School. I am God Mother to her youngest daughter Mackinzie. Her girls are Jose & Chris' age. We hope they will come for a visit soon to SC with the girls. Some people had changed a lot, others not so much. A little wider and some with less hair. Some look like they had just graduated. In any case, I was excited Jorge got to meet some of my friends and see historic Churchill Downs. That was the majority of our day! We picked up the kids, went to see my mom sing and then for a short stop at my dad & Sharon's. We planned on leaving early Sunday morning and head back to SC.

On Sunday we got the kids up and instead of leaving, Jose wanted to see Downtown Louisville so we detoured. I took them by the Louisville Slugger museum, Science museum and over to Indiana for a great look at the skyline. We promised to bring them back for Thunder of Louisville next April. We then set off back for home. What seemed like a million hours later, we thanked God for his travel mercies and made it home.

Nesting Phase

This morning while at work I've been watching a robin pick strands of pine straw out of the flower bed in front of my office window. She's been back and forth several times collecting long strands which I'm sure is to create a nest for babies she is expecting. As I watch in amazement at how God creates these creatures and provides them all the necessary tools to create an intricately woven nest I think about how we as humans do the same thing. I guess that's why they call the later stages of pregnancy the "nesting" phase where everything has to be in place before the "big arrival"! Well, I'm already ahead of the game on that! Our nursery has been done for almost 6 months now. Just sitting there waiting for a baby! My brain plays all kinds of tricks on me like will I EVER have a baby to begin with.

DSS is non-communicative. I've heard nothing! We've been told through the grapevine that others in our DSS class are having to take the classes again to get recertified. We've not received that information from them, but I've sent an email just in case to follow up. Considering how slow the process is going, we are continuing with trying to get pregnant still. I am going for a laporoscopy in the next couple of months to look for any endometriosis. I'm sure I should have done this a long time ago, but it wasn't really ever pushed! Last year my doctor recommened it, however I think the fertiltiy drugs were too much and I all but gave up! I was too stressed out from it all with building the new house, fertility drugs, etc! Now I feel like I'm in a much better place to handle it all. Keep us in your prayers as we continue through this journey. Only God knows the plans He has for us.

Manny & Miguel

Well, our homestudy did not get sent to the caseworker in NC until 6/4/09 and they updated on 6/3/09 the NC caseworker was no longer accepting inquiries. So....we missed the boat on being able to inquire about these two angels. I pray they find a happy forever home and one with Godly parents. I'm sad of course because we just didn't have a chance from the start. I'm sure it's what God had planned all along. I knew this journey would be filled with lots of ups and downs. It doesn't hurt any less though. Time to move on and keep faithful in prayer. Keep Manny & Miguel in your prayers for a happy and adjusted placement.

Adoption Update

Today I decided to check for any updates on our adoption by checking the adoptuskids.org website. When I logged on it shows an update as of 6/3/09 stating the case is on hold pending placement and no longer accepting inquiries. What we don't know is whether or not we are the ones they are considering for placement or if it is another family. As you can imagine, we are very excited, but trying to not get over excited. I'm not even for sure if they have received our homestudy as of yet. We sent in all the proper paperwork before we left for vacation, but have not heard anything. Our caseworker did not sound very encouraging when I spoke to her about sending in our homestudy. She said they never hear back about most cases or that another family has already been selected. I hope we are at the very least considered as a forever family for these two little boys. So I emailed the case worker asking if we are being considered for placement. Now I am just praying we will hear something this week. Whatever happens we pray Miguel and Manny find a forever family and are placed with a family who knows and will share the Gospel and bring these boys to Jesus. Please pray for the same.

Hilton Head Island

Jorge and I just got home yesterday from a trip to Hilton Head Island with my dad, Sharon and my Uncle Bobby and Aunt Debbi. We had a great time! It was so nice to get away and relax. Jorge played two rounds of golf and I went to the beach five out of seven days. I'll admit, my favorite part of the trip was watching all the little ones discovering all sorts of things on the beach. The tide would wash out and leave these tidal pools full of starfish, horseshoe crabs, sting rays, hammerhead sharks, little shells with crabs and lots of unseen things! We really loved to watch them! The kids were most amazed by the starfish! I've never seen so many of them in one place, up close and personal.

Now it's back to work and back to the daily grind. I think I'll try to keep my tan going by spending lots of weekends at the neighborhood pool. Maybe it will keep my fame of mind in vacation mode.

We can't wait to plan our next trip. This time it will be with Jose and Chris. We'd love to rent a house right on the beach. Ahhh...the joys of vacation!

Moving Forward

Okay so I called our case worker and asked her how we inquire about these two precious boys, Manny & Miguel. What I got was not very encouraging, but honest. For us to find out more info, we must fill out a form (big shock!) and send it in. It is currently being mailed to me so there's more waiting on snail mail. Our case worker let me know that rarely do they ever hear back about inquiries such as this. She said the usual response is that they are selected or matches to another family. So in true Kimberly form...I registered our family profile on Adoptuskids.org complete with a picture. Then we emailed the case worker for them. I then found out a little more about Miguel and Manny. Only by registering our profile am I able to view any info on the kids. So here's what I know, which isn't much.

It looks like both boys are in the Greensboro area of NC. Not bad, only 3 hours from here depending on exactly where they are. The last update of their profile (5/14/09) asked that they be able to visit family in the area once per month and the adoptive parents are to agree. Jorge and I have discussed it and it seems a reasonable request. We have also leared that Miguel, the oldest was born December 2004 while Manny was born March 2006. That's really all we know at this point. I'm hoping we get a call from the case worker this week asking for more info or requesting a copy of our home study. More waiting is on the menu!

I guess this is where I wonder if I'm pushing our agenda or what God has in store for us. Jorge says these two have remainded on my mind for a reason. I keep coming across their profile for a reason. Jorge swears they look Puerto Rican! He's usually right about these things. I don't care if they are martian's from another planet. My heart is reaching out to them and I pray it is God's will. As always, keep us in your prayers.

The Valentin Family: Prayer Request

The Valentin Family: Prayer Request

http://www.adoptuskids.org/child/ChildView.aspx?id=32550

Prayer Request

We have been patiently waiting for a match for a child to be placed with our family. Going about our daily routine as usual and prayerfully asking God to bless us with a child. While we are faithful God will bless our family with a new addition or two, there is that fine line of wondering what am I controlling and what God is doing. I often search online for kids available in the US waiting for adoption. There are two boys who have popped up several times. I have attached a link for you to see them. Both are boys ages 3 & 4, brothers waiting for adoption. Manny & Miguel are Hispanic/American's who want to be adopted together and are waiting in NC with a foster family. Their profile has most recently been updated 5/14/09. We are carefully praying about God's will for us and these two boys. Please keep us in your prayers concerning our adoption. Thank you for your prayers!

I'm Clear! We're one Step Closer!

Not that it wouldn't come back clean, but I got a phone call from DSS letting me know they FINALLY got the background check back from KY and it was all clear! DUH! I could have told them that. But I guess somehow my word just wasn't good enough. That's okay...they are giving me a baby so I guess I can't be too picky! That call made my day! We're one step closer to being parents.

I was feeling so low yesterday about it all. I mean, I see friends, relatives and general public taking care of their kids, laughing with them, posting pics on facebook and I wonder "Why not me Lord?" Why can't I share in this kind of joy? Am I not supposed to have a family and little ones calling me mom? Did I do something to warrant not being able to have kids? I just don't understand. It's not that I'm mad at God or love him any less...I just don't understand! We never know what God has planned only that he has one. I've always said there is no way God would give me this much love in my heart for a child and then not give me one! He wouldn't let me heart ache for something he will never provide. I don't worry about whether or not he will provide because I know he will. It just feels like each day I get older and think when will it happen? Everyone says in God's time. I know that, but it just doesn't comfort me very much. I pray about it and so does Jorge.

Now we are just waiting to be matched with a baby who needs a forever family! We can't wait! Our official letter came to the house on the 26th! Please pray for the child who will come our way. Since we are going through DSS most all of the children have been abused or deglected. I pray for this child each day!

Background Check

So I called on Friday to see where we were with the return of my background check only for DSS to say...they too are waiting on Kentucky to answer the background check. So...more waiting. At least when I called, they remembered who I was and that this was the only thing they were waiting on. That sounded promising! At least we're not some unknown name at the bottom of a stack of files. The supervisor remembered my name and that we were waiting on the background check. A huge sigh of relief came over me. A friend told me that once the baby is put in my arms, all the frustration and stress of waiting will go away...can't wait for that day!

The DSS face!

Last night I ran into a couple at our church who have been foster parents and have adopted a little boy through DSS. She asked me how it was going and then said, "Oh I know that face! It's the DSS face! I know it all too well!" I guess my frustration was difficult to hide. I immediately let her know about our last phone call to the DSS office and how our file hadn't been read only to get a follow up letter in the mail saying they needed me to sign a consent to release info from the state of Kentucky. Um.....Helloooooo! We turned in our paperwork like back in November! Couldn't someone have gone through it and said we needed that? Ugh! In any case I have the signed form and will be taking it down the DSS office personally today. It is just up the street from my office. I guess I would not be so frustrated if I hadn't heard another couple in our class has already been approved and are waiting for their match with a child. Our friends told us to keep on the pressure and not be too willing to sit back and wait! Remember the squeeky wheel gets the grease. So I'm gonna squeek! There are children waiting and so are we, so now it's up to DSS to bring us together.

At some point I had to stop myself and say, Okay...it is all in God's timing and His timing is perfect! There is a much larger master plan involved here and I am simply going to have to wait. I can't say I'll wait patiently, but I will wait and most importantly be faithful and believe that one day we will have an addition to our family. But I've always been told God help's those who help themselves. So maybe our determination mixed with God's plan will yeild results. I know God does not need any of my help, but He made me the person I am in making me strong willed so I will use His gifts to help our cause.

One thing that is always in the back of my mind is to remember we are not dealing with a private adoption costing thousands of dollars. We don't have a team of people representing us searching for us a child. We are working with a government agency that is trying to look out for the best interest of a child. They are more than likely drowning in paperwork, understaffed, underpaid and know all the horrible things that happen to kids. So....I will cut some slack in this regards. They are after all going to give me a child, forever! I can be nice and sweet and kind, but persistant. God never promises the journey will be easy...just worth it!

Adoption News

Okay...not trying to trick you here...there really isn't any EXCITING news to tell. However, I did speak to the supervisor at DSS who has our file. You see we've been waiting on our official "approval" letter but have not gotten squat over the past month. We know our Certified Investigator (sounds like CSI) sent in our Homestudy over 30 days ago and we thought we would hear something by now. Getting curious I picked up the phone Monday afternoon and left her a message. Then Tuesday morning I called again and she answered! OMG!!! A live person at DSS! It must be a miracle! All kidding aside, these people work hard and deal with things we couldn't even imagine so I'm just being silly here! I spoke with her for a few minutes and she assured me she had my file and would be reading it this week. Reading it this week? Okay...I expected her to tell me something completely different like, "Oh yes Mrs. Valentin you are approved and have been listed in the data base as potential parents waiting to adopt!" NOT! Here's the drill....

The supervisor has to read the file for grammar and content. If there is anything wrong, she sends it back to our Certified Investigator who makes any changes and then sends it back in to DSS for it to be read again. As you can imagine, this could take months. So...we have to wait. If anything I'm hoping that my call prompted her to look for my file instead of coming across it in a stack of others. Maybe it will speed up the process. Who knows but I've always heard the squeaky wheel gets the grease! I explained to Brenda, the supervisor at DSS, that we were very excited and ready to adopt and I wasn't trying to be a thorn in her side or a pain, just anxious to have a baby! She was very understanding and told me to call anytime. She was also happy to hear how excited we were. That is what they are looking for and unfortunately, you can't exude excitement in a case file! So at least I got the chance to speak to a live human and was able to express that we were ready!

So that's all there is to that. More waiting and praying that God gives us patience and knows what He is doing. He has a child for us and I have faith it will all happen in his time. As simple sinful humans, we want everything our way when WE want it. I am trusting in him, but also very excited about the changes that are to come. Right now I'm enjoying making our house a home and planning vacation time out with Jorge and the family.

Family Updates:
Jose was working at Circuit City and they have closed so he like millions of other Americans looking for a job. He's the perfect candidate! Young, flexible and wants part time with little to no benefits. Who wouldn't want to hire him? The key is for him to start really looking for a job.

Chris is asking for a class ring. While I know this is one of those rights of passage for a high schooler, it is a lot of money for something he will never wear! Besides, he will also want drivers ed this summer along with a car about the time school starts. First...he will have to get a job which will put a hurt on his video game playing time. Nothing too serious, but I want him to learn some responsibility with money. That's not asking too much! In any case, we'll see how it goes. He is also asking us for braces! Now that's worth it to me!

Jorge is doing well and is loving working around the house. This past weekend he installed a beautiful fountain in our front yard, re-mulched and put bed edging up. It looks great. We both loved working in the yard. It had to be 80 degrees last Saturday. A big switch from the snow we had the week before that. Strangest snow storm I've ever seen. Snow was falling and then there was lightening and thunder. VERY STRANGE! This week the weather is great, but it will get colder again tomorrow. All the more reason I put the breaks on planting any flowers just yet...but that project will happen soon as the spring weather settles in.

I guess that's all for now. Love to you all.
Kimberly

DONE!!!!

We are finally done with all the interviews, inspections and questionaires regarding our adoption home study. Next we have to wait for the Home Study report to be written by the case worker and turned into "our" case worker. Then we will be "approved". We should get the official approval letter in February.

Once we are approved our information will be put into a database for any SC caseworker to search and match us with a waiting baby. After they (case workers) determine we are a match for a baby they will call us. I can't wait for that day! I can't imagine what it will feel like to get that call! We will go in for a meeting with several case workers and get all the info they have on the child. We can ask all the questions we like about the child's background, health, pesonality, etc that we want. At the end of the meeting, we will then be shown a picture of the adoptable child. You can imagine why they don't show you the picture first! We don't want to fall in love with a picture, but with a child that will fit with our family. They would then like for us to "sleep on it" and make a decision in a day or so. If we accept, we may need to set up visitation with a foster family until we are ready to make a permanent transition to our home. So....that's what is coming down the line.

So many of you have asked where we are in the process....what's next....when will we get a baby. Well, now you know where we are in the adoption process and what comes next. As far as when...only God knows that answer and we are relying on Him for the perfect timing.

The nursery is finished and waiting. So...I've done all I can to prepare for the arrival of a little one and will now just be as patient as possible for a phone call. It's never easy waiting, but it will definitly be worth the wait!

Nursery

This weekend Jorge and I spent most of our time finishing up the nursery! While the furniture has been up and bedding on for a while...we needed to finsh all of the murals on the walls. I can't wait to snap a pic for everyone and post it! It is so cute! I never imagined it would turn out quite like this. You know how you have something pictured in your head and when you're done...it just didn't turn out right? If you like to cook or have ever attempted a home improvement project, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

In any case, I knew I could never have a boring nursery! From the minute I saw the bedding ensemble, I knew I wanted there to be big palm trees, a swinging monkey, a giraffe looking over the crib and an elephant on the walls. It's amazing what you can do with a little imagination and a projector! Mom helped me get it all started and Jorge and I finished the majority of all the work. It was so much fun. I love creating memories for our little one before we even get her!

Now I have to organize the closet and all the clothes we've accumulated. This should be fun. I'll send an email once I've posted a pic for everyone!

Just a reminder...please keep us in prayer for this Thursday as we complete our last Home Study interview.

Loads of Love....

2009...Here we come!

With all the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season...I have not updated our blog site! So...here we go.

First let's take a look back at 2008! We sold our old house, built a new one, moved twice in 90 days, began the process of adopting a baby, took a cruise and celebrated our first wedding anniversary! I don't know about you...but it felt like it flew by!

We just spent our first Christmas in our new home and had both sets of parents here in the same house. I know that may sound odd to those who are divorced, but fortunatley for me I have the greatest parents in the world! They all get along so great and when my "dads" are in the room together it is like Ford old home week! They catch up on others they have known for what seems like a century. It's so great they can come and stay in the same house. It was especially great for me because this is the first time I can remember where I have had both my mom and dad together for Christmas. We spent Christmas eve at our church with a very quick service. But it was home! Now the decorations are down and life is back to normal.

We have one more interview on January 8th with our Certified Investigator. They will be asking the kids a few questions and then complete what's called the "Home Study". I'm guessing after that we will be waiting for a baby. We will also determine our "legal risk factor". This is where we tell them what level of risk we are willing to accept to take a foster baby.This will be the hardest part.

This weekend I think I'll finish painting the nursery. I also have to sort all the clothes we have been given by size. I'm so excited to finally get the interview process completed so we can be that much closer to expanding our family.

To help the time go by I am going to concentrate on decorating our home. The plain white walls are driving me crazy! We've painted all the rooms except the downstairs living space and Chris' bedroom. Chris can't decide on a color, but it's his choice so we'll wait and see what he picks out. I have learned over time however...just to pick out paint and be done with it. He makes decisions at the speed of a sloth!

This past weekend we decorated the living room television area with a surround sound system, I'm not usually one who gets into this stuff but this thing ROCKS! We're currently watching Transformers and the sound is awesome! We now have speakers sitting everywhere, but I don't care for the moment. We can take care of the wires later.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas as much as we did. Happy New Year to everyone and may God Bless you!