Adopting

We have decided to follow through with an adoption of a child. We have no idea where our child will come from, what circumstances she will come from, how old she will be, what race or what she looks like, we already love her. I refer to "she" because that is what we have asked for, however, we know God always has plans of His own. We are remaining faithful to his counsel and pray we are given a child to give a forever home to. How did we get here?

It is no big secret to anyone who knows us of our desire to expand our family and have a baby of our own. From the beginning we knew that adoption was always an option. We have wrestled with the idea for over a year now. After about 6 months of fertility treatments, drug and crazy sweeping hormones, I decided it just wasn't worth it to have a "biological" child. I had to give up the notion of ever being able to give birth or have that experience. I got lots of advise on how to get pregnant. My favorite was, "Just Relax!" Okay...that didn't work. Besides, I know I live in this perpetual state of stress. Even when I don't think I'm stressed, I am. It is how I function day to day. Controlled chaos is what some people call it. I thrive in it and it seems to suit me well. Other words of wisdom were: "Just go out and tie one on. That's what we did and low and behold we got pregnant." I found this one not to my liking. I'm not a drinker anyways. I love Key Lime Martini's and all, but getting drunk to get pregnant seems obsurde! I never can understand how some people get pregnant just thinking about it while others struggle with the want to be pregnant and for whatever reason just can't conceive. Seems so unfair!

I still have my days where it really hurts. I look at my handsome husband and picture the little girl I so long to give him. She would have dark hair and skin with maybe hazel eyes like mine. She will love music and sports at the same time. This is normal right? Everyone who wants a child dreams about these things, don't they? In any case, I just recently found out that a family member is expecting a baby. As excited as I am for them, I fight back the tears for Jorge and I. Jorge is so sweet and just holds me trying to be so supportive. I thought I had really let this go, but the news came and I just couldn't hold it back. I think I'll always feel this was to some degree.

Our decsion to adopt wasn't an easy one. Where do we start? Who do we contact? Do we want and open adotion, semi-open or closed? What does all of that mean? We first contacted Bethany Christian Services. They are an adoption agency that specializes in Christian families wanting to adopt. They pair birth parents with families wanting to adopt and the birth mother chooses the new parents for her child. We found out that they are an open adoption only. We are not totally opposed of this idea, but we still weren't sure. Recently we met with a couple from our church who have adopted through DSS, Department of Social Services. They were first Foster Parents, which we considered. After lots of discussion we realized we could not have a baby placed in our arms only to have to return it to someone else. I just don't think my heart could bear it. Through Frank and Laverne, we realized going through DSS would be an option we were interested in. There are over 600 children in the state of SC waiting for a forever family. We attended an informational meeting and have lots of paperwork to complete before October 18th. That is the last day of a two day training class for foster or adopting parents. We were very clear that we wanted to go through a straight adoption and forgo fostering. While we may foster later, it is clear to both of us that we'd like to adopt initially. We may even be open to adopt sibilings. At this point we are going through the steps required and the training classes. The rest is up to God. We are leaving it in His hands.

We have so many questions and hope they will be answered as we go along. Last weekend we had a little bit of fun shopping for the nursery we will prepare. We found a crib and stroller/car seat combo that we just love. Of course we immediately came home to search EBAY for bargains! Much cheaper on Ebay. I'm such an Ebay junkie!

So...here we go. We're on our way to adopting what we hope will be a forever child for this forever family.